Relationship and Love life

I Do Not Know How To Caption This…

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I understand, very much, how hurts and shortcomings can make you be more expressive with the love you have for people. It’s called “Love, despite”.

This is legit…very, very. Speaks volumes of true, purposeful, and relentless love expressions

Purposeful love is expected to make us happy, groom us, make us better, improve us and make the best out of us. Therefore, if, in all your dispositions of prodigal love, the object of love remains unchanged, that says to tell that he or she is intentional about hurting you.

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Continue reading “I Do Not Know How To Caption This…”

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Autobiography, Family, memoirs, Relationship and Love life, Short plays and stories

Day 2- MY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHAT I EXPECT FROM THEM.

I believe, and I see life as just one thing; all about relationships.

From cradle through life till death, a living being transcends from one specie of relationship to another. Starting with the relationship she shares with her birth family, her childhood friends, extended family, close friends, the believers fold, acquaintances, dating relationships and maybe marriage. I see all these facets as makeup of my existence. I can’t do without them. No one can.

One thing is constant in all these; the medium of interaction between you and these different folks you’re relating with. I also believe that there can’t be any set up of the sort between me and any of the aforementioned groups without a part of my emotional deposition obliging. And in human interactions,  we employ life instincts for a peaceful coexistence.

This brings me to say; I do not mind loving people. Living is to loving, for me. Infact, I’m a careless, hopeless, free to the air lover girl. However, I insist on the equality mindset more than I expect a reciprocate of love from people; generally or specifically.

How and why?
I believe that the interaction to be existent between humans should be that of ADMIRATION and APPRECIATION. I have come to understand that admiration is simply, me, recognizing another person’s resemblance to myself. This resemblance is not factored by any affiliations nor tags. It’s more kike fellowship; and a sense of fellowship has no tags to it. It cuts across and against gender, race, age,  nationality, ethnicity, cultural bounds, skin colour, any societal status at all.
Continue reading “Day 2- MY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHAT I EXPECT FROM THEM.”

Autobiography, memoirs, Relationship and Love life, Short plays and stories

Day 1- I LIVE PURPOSEFULLY.

Growing up had me so precocious about and around my life. I became connected to the conscious human world at a very tender age. At that age, I was in a puzzling touch with my life and death instincts. I’m not talking about mere tantrums. I mean, real empathetic relations by way of extension. I could understand negative and positive emotions thoroughly.  I could relate to people’s feelings and heart trails by clairvoyance and empathy.

But, being a child, I wasn’t always taken seriously. So, I chilled. I experienced series of down and outs, as I really wanted to reach out to people but had restrictions. I had fewer or no people believing in me. I was still a child, they said.

Anyways,  I grew; nurturing that virtue. I longed to always help people. Did those I could. Even went extreme lengths to make sure the person needing help got it. Those I couldn’t get my way through hurt me so much. It became obvious that my happiness was drawn from the smiles and satisfaction of the other. So I decided to live for the people. Many times, then, I got into serious troubles trying to defend people and stand up for them against odds. I suffered from plenty misunderstandings and all. Due to the burning zeal, I was all out, no cares. I’ve learnt better now, though.

I decided that, no matter whatever I settle to do, per career, it just had to revolve around people. I never wanted to lose sight and touch with people who need help in whatever way. I discovered that part of me that was a good listener. Unconsciously,  I had a word for every situation related to me. I was drawn to the hurts and joys of people. I longed to see people happy at any cost. I, just, was given to reaching out to people, standing up for them.

Even when I made choices then, about the course to study in the university. I chose medicine because, I felt it was a discipline/profession that will make me be in constant touch with people. It wasn’t necessarily what and who I wanted to be in the nearest future. It was about the problem I am poised to solving. Continue reading “Day 1- I LIVE PURPOSEFULLY.”

Autobiography, Relationship and Love life, Short plays and stories

Day 0- MY PASSION DRIVES MY HAPPINESS.

You can call me “lazy”.
I don’t really mean the lazy you do know.

This is what I mean. I select what I participate in.

What in me does that selection?  My passion.

So it says to tell that if my passion cannot find expression with that, there is no way I am doing it.

This is because, my passion drives my happiness. Having my passion find expression in all the ramifications it can, multiplies into my unending happiness.

Continue reading “Day 0- MY PASSION DRIVES MY HAPPINESS.”

Autobiography, Relationship and Love life, Short plays and stories

Day 00-MY IDEAL LIFE.

They said that those of us born at around late January to mid February tend to live in fairy land. We imagine a lot of things the way we want it to be. Most atimes, these expectations are the ideals. They said we need to try to merge the real with the ideal.

I said, well, I can’t merge real and Ideal. It’s either real or ideal. I believe the ideal from constant connect with it, becomes my reality.

Therefore, I always insist on the world my mind have orchestrated. How am i sure about this?
I have schooled and I keep schooling my mind thoroughly on the right ideals of life and all. So it’s not like I’m totally clueless.

You say I’m too principled and uptight…well, I can’t choose to settle for less either. When I do, I hurt helplessly. Experiences have taught me that when I settle for less, in shades of pity, I lose out totally on happiness and fulfilment.

So, there’s no plan B or C working for me. If a plan A floors, I set up another plan A.

Continue reading “Day 00-MY IDEAL LIFE.”

Family, Relationship and Love life

CELEBRATING YEAR-26 WITH BENEDETHE & JOE .

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It’s been twenty six kaleidoscopic years of marital union.
Hmmmmh!
Quite kaleidoscopic! But in all, we give thanks. We’re stronger;  we’re better.

Happy Marriage anniversary to Benedethe and Joseph; awa dear parence of laive.

You’d continue to Live long, lovely and happily.

We love you ma’am,  we love you sir. We’d live our whole lives appreciating the fact that you’re out parents.

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God bless the Okwara dynasty. Amen.

Signed:
Godswill Okwara
Christian Uma Okwara
Mimi Okwara
Okwara Victor
Okwara Victoria.

For family and friends.

Relationship and Love life, Short plays and stories

“…I SHOULD HAVE WAITED.”

(Story recounted with express permission from the direct teller. Names have been replaced for reasons best known.)

At first I thought they were her younger siblings; two little girls, Marachi and Tuochiegwu. My thoughts were with me for days until I heard their big mummy refer to them as her grandchildren.  I shock!

Udeamaka is a petite figure,fair skinned with a radiant smile. Looking at her you can’t just accept that she’s a mum of two. From the first day I saw her, I just knew we’d have a rendezvous surely. First, she was all out to make my acquaintance with her continuous and timely kind words and all dem “good-somethings “.

I didn’t mention that one of the kids; the older; Marachi; had a fearful, huge outgrowth round her neck. I fought back the tears each time I saw this kid of not up to 4years in severe pains,especially after she’s gone to receive medi-care on it. She’d cry helplessly.  Other times the pains were not just utterable; so she’d groan. This ailment made her look skinny and sickly. You’d mistake her for a sickler. My dear; those sights;  horrible.

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Mara cried again, and this time, her teary voice slit my heart in two. I came out. Udeamaka, her mum was consoling her and helping her spoon food into the mouth she barely could open. Tuochiegwu is one kid that has a very unbecoming ability to scream atop her voice when she’s crying for nothing. So all join!

I watched in pains, too as I felt the hurt in my chest. Moving close to where they sat,  I say beside Marachi.

“Sweetheart, ndo!  Chai!” I was short of words. Quickly said a prayer for her and patted her back to serenity. The mum was blanked out. She was lost in thought.

“Nne it’s well oooh.” I tried starting,  unsure of where it will lead.

Then it snapped!

“When will all these end? What have I done to deserve this. Look at this innocent child. God, bikozianu.” The tears came pouring. Tuochi got her pause button activated.

“My dear it’s alright.”
“Their father nko? ” I asked; imploring God to grant me access.

“Which of them?” She wiped her face. Their fathers abandoned them. Tuochi’s father calls from time to time. But never visited. Marachi’s never owned up to her fatherhood.”

“Whaaat!” I was shaky already.
“I’m listening. ..”

She continued, “If not for my mum, I don’t know what I would have done. Marachi’s Father was my boyfriend in secondary school.  After our WASSCE,  he was about to go and learn trade in Lagos. Two days before he travelled we couldn’t keep the urge to get intimate. I knew he’d be away for a long time. And I’d miss him. So we had sex. He travelled and that was all. He promised to come marry me once he made money. Few months later had my tummy bulging. I called to tell him the news. Mimi, I will not forget the slamming of the phone dailer in my ear.

When Mara was about 9months old, I noticed a difficulty with her neck. She’d always let out moans whenever you touched her neck. We treated it as we understood it. Then the outbreak came shockingly. 

Mara was only 1year plus when a family friend of ours came visiting one Christmas. He was of great assistance. But I was stupid. I never suspected anything until I have fallen so flat. Before he travelled back to his base, we slept together. I wouldn’t say he forced me. But the persuasion was intense. A flicking candle was already lit. But that event became one of my most dreaded histories as I took in afterwards. Tuochi came 9months later. Marachi’s case grew from bad to worse. We had not enough funds to properly take care of her. My mum took us in when everyone deserted us. Tuochi’s dad sent funds for a while then stopped. Can’t reach him no more.

It’s been hell.  Real hell.  I don’t regret these kids. I just wished they came at the right time; under the perfect circumstances. Just imagine I alone going through all these. Their fathers all gone. This is my cross to bear. I just wish I knew better………”

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I could continue the writing. But I’ve written a handful, already. So that is it…

From Ude’s story and many other similitudes, we can point out many instances that should have waited until later.

Take a look at this again;
Continue reading ““…I SHOULD HAVE WAITED.””